The Pandemic | The Silence Before My Collapse | Canceled. Recovered. Ready. | Episode 17

EPISODE 17 — “The Pandemic” In this episode, I revisit the beginning of 2020 — before the accusations, before the backlash, before everything in my life collapsed. This isn’t about rehashing #SpeakingOut or what happened publicly. This is about who I was when the world shut down, how the silence of lockdown forced me to face things I’d been avoiding for years, and how my depression, distractions, and emotional blind spots set the stage for everything that came next. For years I was constantly traveling, wrestling, staying busy, and chasing validation. When the pandemic hit, all the noise stopped — and I had to sit alone with myself for the first time in a long time. This episode covers: • The moment wrestling stopped • Doubling my antidepressants • Texting nonstop just to avoid silence • The grief I never processed • Dating during the lockdown • The emotional state I brought into June 2020 • The “calm” before the storm that changed my life This chapter isn’t about blame or defense — it’s about honesty. It’s about understanding the version of myself I carried into one of the hardest years of my life. New episodes every week. Thank you for watching and for giving me space to tell the full story. ⸻ #ThePandemic #MentalHealthJourney #RecoveryStory #VlogSeries #CancelCulture