Megalodon
This film is the movie equivalent to one of those frozen microwaveable Cheeseburgers you can get for 99p at the convenience store.
Like that cheap ass cheeseburger this movie is made from the worst ingredients and is sure to give you indigestion after consuming it.
Bad acting, poor script, dire CGI, No direction... I could go on.
Megalodon the movie solely exists only to cash in on the success of The Meg movie which is based on the novel by Steve Alten.
This terrible film Starring Michael Madsen has no relation to Altens fantastic novel.
Actually wait, no Madsen doesn't actually star in this, more a brief appearance, which is probably just as well.
Madsen was once a force to be reckoned with in Hollywood but he has now sunken to the depths of having to appear in this bucket of rotten fish guts.
He plays a Naval Admiral who looks more like a homeless person than a highly ranked military personnel.
The films plot if it actually has one tells of a Russian submarine crew drilling in the deep ocean.
Don't ask me what for because I couldn't care less. Anyway by doing so they unleash a shark so big it manages to bite a large chunk out of their sub rendering it disabled on the sea floor.
The Russians are then rescued by the good old boys and gals from the U.S of A and then this movie proceeds to be a unintentionally hilarious poor CGI fest.
Trust me the shark isn't the worst CGI creation to crop up in this pile of celluloid excrement.
As I mentioned this movie is just a blatant attempt to cash in on The Meg. But where The Meg was a fun movie that didn't take itself seriously and was made with some rather impressive visuals, Megalodon does actually take itself seriously and by doing so raises the odd chuckle.
It's terrible but not in a B movie good way.
I could forgive if this film was a spoof, maybe a Megashark vs Hippocrocoduck but it's a self serious movie like this that is one of the reasons why many critics could not get onboard with The Meg.
They tar The Meg with the same brush and branded it ridiculous when in fact compared to this movie it is a very good piece of entertainment.
Megalodon was a movie that I just could not get on with.
After 59 minutes I had to jump ship. Its dire special effects. Namely any scene showing the Naval ship or the submarine are offensive on the eyes.
The poor acting which gives the impression that all dialogue was improvised and the terrible direction made this film impossible to watch.
Most on ship scenes are filmed looking upwards. This is to hide the fact that the actors aren't on a real ship or if they are it's not really at sea.
Production design is laughable. Naval attire looks like it was borrowed from the local fancy dress shop and props look as though they were made on an episode of Blue Peter.
Megalodon is a movie that I would give a zero score but it does have one redeeming quality.
It managed to keep a bunch of actors and crew in employment for several months.
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